Have you ever wondered why so many people want to be like the Jones' family? When we become contemptible in our own eyes and all we desire is to be like our bunky or roommate, we need to know that something is wrong somewhere? Has it ever crossed our minds that we are not as beautiful as our friend? As if that is not enough, all some of us ever want in life is to have the soft hair and round face that our friend or colleague has? I think the problem is that we just want to be like the lady next door. Could it mean you wanna be like him/her? If the answer is a sincere yes, then, you are probably battling with envy.
In my little search on this topic, I discovered that envy can sometimes be very subtle but its negative effect can be very grave on its carrier. If one is envious of another person's achievement, physique or possessions, the fellow will soon discover that consciously or unconsciously, one will begin to detest that fellow. If we are not careful, before we know it, we'll realize that we are always criticizing or condemning that fellow, then, we need to be careful because our resentment could probably be as a result of being envious of what our friend, boss, colleague, neighbour etc has.
Envy springs up from lack of contentment. Anytime we want to have what another person has and we are resentful, it means we are envious. Anytime we dream of becoming like another person with a little resentment or when we are suddenly irritated by the success of others, then, we need to check ourselves, it may be we are probably envious of that fellow's achievement.
Gore Vidal, a novelist said, “Whenever a friend succeeds, a little something in me dies.” If this applies to us, we are really envious and we need a change of attitude. Anytime we discover (if we are sensitive) that we do not genuinely rejoice with our friends or neighbours when they get new cars, phones, iPad etc then we can be rest assured that we have a problem with envy. Most of the time, we desire that we possess what our friends or close associates have. Sometimes, it can be so terrible that we desire what the man on the street has even when we do not know the person's source!
It was George Bernard Shaw, an Irish playwright who said, “The man with toothache thinks everyone is happy whose teeth are sound.” Oh life! Can you imagine, a man with toothache looks at others flashing their teeth and believes all is well with them; ironically, they have so many things they are battling with which when they tell the man with a tooth ache, he will ask for more tooth ache rather than the situation others whom he is envious of find themselves in.
Anytime we discover that we are aggrieved or indignant when we lack another's (Perceived) superior quality, achievement or possession and we either desires it or wishes that the other person lacked it, then we have a problem with envy which must be dealt with quickly. On the other hand, envy can also be derived from a sense of low self-esteem. For example, those results from an upward social comparison threatening a person's self image: another person has something that the envier considers to be important to have. If the other person is perceived to be similar to the envier, the aroused envy will be particularly intense, because it signals to the envier that it just as well could have been he or she who had the desired object.
Although some of us take envy lightly, it's a terrible thing. Solomon said, “A sound heart is the life of the flesh: but envy the rottenness of the bones.” Prov 14:30 while Job said, “envy slayeth the silly one” Job 5:2. Envy makes our bones rot and portrays us as silly people. I believe you don't want your bones to rot. However, in order to avoid that, cry to God for help, read good books on how people in your shoes have dealt with this problem. If possible, see a counsellor and stay free from envy, it is possible.
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